Because no one knows I use livejournal anymore anyways...

YO, GUYS, general announcement that I'm really sorriez that I love to have this "stoner type" kind of conversation lately. I just really want to know what's beyond the universe, because there's no way in hell that it's infinite. There's gotta be something past that. Philosophical wonderings are a constant lately. Atleast something is. I NEED SLEEP. I NEVER SLEEP. I just continue to organize the mess of stuff on my computer.

James made me dinner tonight. It was good. Okay -- BEYOND GOOD! Peppers, onions, garlic, olives, chicken, noodles. It's his "speciality". Then I trimmed his hairs and shaved his neck. REMINDS me of this time I woke up to find a note on the bathroom door of my mother's house saying "SHAVE YOUR NEK." (As in neck... my mother is not from this country.) Nice clean neck. No hairys. And he also says that we will have a wonderful night together tomorrow night (today night). I made him promise me, but I expect it either way. He's very special to me. <3

I love it when I skip classes and fret about it after the matter, and then it turns out it's okay, 'cause it was cancelled either way.

I'm probably typing really loud and waking Liz & Mike up.
Whoops.

I'm going to read the dictionary.

I always find a good time to get depressed.. and that's when I'm alone and it's too late/early to call someone up to talk to them. But aie, I've put myself in a vicious cycle of failing quite similar to the one I put myself into last Spring term. I've become too embarrased to go to class because I've missed out on so much homework. And I've missed so many classes to try and make up all the missed homework. And when I decide I'm gonna not sleep all night to try and finish my homework, I get too distracted and depressed to do it, and so the cycle goes on.

I'm really not too sure of anything anymore, be it school, people, careers, lifestyles. I know that I hate my situation in school, but I'm still there, but hesitating about every little thing I need to do. I hate that I'm unemployed, but I can't do anything about it until I figure out my situation with school. I hate my body, I need to lose weight, I'm ashamed to look in the mirror half the time and I get constant reminders about how I need to lose weight from my mother who now has quite the nice body because she runs 30-40 minutes a day, every day of the week. If someone asked me what and where home is too me, I wouldn't know what to tell them. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I would lean towards the dorm, nut getting lost in the moment like I always do on campus has brought me here, somewhere in this vicious cycle.

The only thing I'm really quite sure of right now is that I'm very much so in love with James. More so than the day before and the day before that.


BLAH.BLAH.
BL:AH.



ANXIIEeTTYYYYYY.
ANNNNNNXIIIETTTYYYYY.

[	Current Mood	|	indifferent	]
[	Current Music	|	Mount Eerie	]

It's spring break, everything's good. Spring, by calendar dates, is here but the wind whistling past my window says it's still winter. I should probably step outside before I assume that spring is being shy. I have the best boy I could ever ask for. I AM falling behind in school, but that's what this week is for. Jade and I are gonna go out searching for jobs in a few moments. We're a little late on this today though. I don't blame us. We did get in kinda late last night. We wuz hanging out at the Chwis Bween's house drinking wine until 3:30 AM. Good times. Here's the crew last night:

That picture of Jade is incredible because it looks nothing like her. Okay, I need to hop on things now.